I suffer from First Born Syndrome. It is my place in the birth order that has influenced my actions and sent me on my journey toward a career that maybe, just maybe, I am born to do.
I was born and raised in Lapeer, Michigan, the “bedroom community.” All that means is the GM jobs were in Lake Orion, Pontiac, and Detroit and the people of Lapeer (the men) car pooled every day two hours to The Shop. It was assumed that you would grow up, graduate and go to work at The Shop. But in my house our parents talked of little else except going to college, becoming doctors or scientists . This is strange to think about knowing that no one in my family, on either side, had ever gone to college. But this thinking is etched in my memory as far back as I can go--I was going to go to college. It is first born bossiness that landed me in the role of teacher.
I preface this as hearsay, I do not remember this happening and I still call shenanigans on my mother, but she insists that it is true. When my first little brother was a few months old, my mother stepped outside to get the mail. At this time I would have been two years old. Mom stepped just outside the door. Being quick and independent minded I shut the door behind her...and the door was locked. So the two year old is alone in the house with the two month old. Apparently all I had to do was turn the knob and the lock would pop; instead for about ten terrifying minutes all I would say in response to, “Turn the handle. Open the door, Michelle,” was “Can’t you get in Mom?” So her only choice was to walk five minutes to the neighbor, have them drive her four miles to the Post Office my dad worked in, get the keys, and have the neighbor drive back to the house, all the while Michelle and the baby are home without adult supervision. Upon entering the house she found me, on the couch reading a book with the baby asleep nearby, “Hi, Mom!” If this is, in fact, a true story, I think it’s fair to say that this first born had everything under control.
Under control is the name of the game. I had two brothers, twelve cousins on one side, and nine on the other. At home I also had a “gang’. I was the oldest on the block. I told them what to do and what we were going to play. My mother will, as of yesterday, tell you that I was the boss. I kept all the neighborhood kids,and all of the cousins organized. I made the plans and I kept them all following according to plan. I was teacher when we played school, mom when we played house, and Princess when we played Voltron. Mostly they were scared of me. I know this to be true when one day I yelled at one of our nemeses, Brian D. As I was yelling at him to leave my brothers alone his little brother started mocking me. From the tree I heard Brian D. telling his brother to, “Shut up, she’ll kill you!” I asked my mother why they kept following me and all she had was, “You were the leader. You had a plan so, they just did.”
For the weekly trip to Grandma’s we were allowed to take a few toys or games to share with our cousins. I spent lots of time after church carefully selecting the cassettes we would listen to. On the drive we, and by we I mean I, would talk about asking Grandpa for tractor rides, or if we could go see the chickens, or if we could go salamander hunting in the woods. When we were old enough we would go into the woods alone checking all of the fox holes for animals. We would carefully check for salamanders under wet logs. When there were no salamanders to be found I remembered the woodpile out by the garden; however, this led to two bee stings--not mine.
As I grew up so did my bossiness, in high school I became the leader of my youth group. I wrote and directed two Christmas plays. One play required more people than I had in youth group. I recruited from my high school friends. We had regular practices and we performed a meaningful play for the entire congregation.
In college I wanted a Murder Mystery dinner so badly I volunteered to write the entire thing. I created over twenty unique characters, all with possible motives. I created the invitations with the story and character information. I created the clues and the confession. I did this in conjunction with school work and my part time job and I did it not once, but twice. They were the talk of campus. Who does something like that? Oh, that’s me the first born.
This is not a traditional educational background essay, but it is important to my “place”. I have always been the bossy leader.
There isn’t a day in my classroom where I can put down the leader hat, there would be nothing but chaos. I have to be organized with the plan, I need to corral students as I did my family and friends. Without my command of the room and agenda the kids would be lost. When a sub is in my room, despite all the detailed instructions, my students feel lost. They are very happy to have the leader back to let them know what to do. Expectation surrounds me.
My mom said it best, “Looking back it all makes sense. You were born to be a teacher.”
No comments:
Post a Comment